In Migori County, located in southwest Kenya near Lake Victoria, many women endure hidden struggles. The region, reliant on the Migori River for much of its water, faces challenges that extend beyond scarcity. For some, like Ruth Atieno, the river and its surroundings have been sites of profound trauma and violence.

Atieno recounts her harrowing journey with painful clarity. “I was raped while fetching water one evening,” she begins, a chilling echo of familiar stories from the Migori River and distant boreholes in Oruba. This violent attack left her bruised, traumatised, and HIV-positive.

Atieno’s early life was marked by adversity. After losing her mother at 14, her education was cut short, and she was coerced into marriage by her father and stepsisters. Still a child herself, she became pregnant within a year. Her husband, unemployed and alcoholic, squandered their meagre resources and was abusive to Atieno. In the midst of this suffering, she remained the breadwinner, always taking on odd jobs. When she pleaded with her family to help, she was met with typical dismissive advice: “Stay, be patient, pray, build your home; there are no greener pastures; beating is part of any marriage.”

Fearing for her safety and that of her unborn child, Atieno fled to Migori. There, she earned a living as a housemaid, finding brief respite with a compassionate employer until her daughter was born. Life in the Oruba slums followed, where she juggled jobs washing clothes, fetching water, and cleaning homes. Her situation briefly seemed to improve with a new relationship and two more children, but it crumbled when she discovered the man was already married, and his wife threatened her life. Fearing further violence, she escaped with her children to hide.

With no education or job and three daughters depending on her, Atieno found hope with the Amua Mama Initiative, which supports abused women. Amua, meaning “decide” in Swahili. The name reflects the initiative’s work towards women’s self-determination and autonomy, empowering them to make vital choices about their health, education, careers, and relationships. Under Phoebe Kefa’s mentorship, Atieno began to see a path forward. “Phoebe was my solace,” Atieno shares. “She helped me realise that I have daughters to care for and living with HIV wasn’t the end.” This newfound support offered her a chance to rebuild and foster a safer future for herself and her children despite the shadows of her past.

Phoebe Kefa, a 58-year-old volunteer, is a catalyst for change in her community, supporting women and children affected by assault, rape, or domestic abuse while helping them seek justice. Alongside the Amua Mama Initiative, she teaches vocational skills like tailoring.

Kefa’s memories of youth starkly contrast with her mission: she recalls oppressive mantras that women should be subservient and endure violence to learn. Despite her struggles with infertility and societal scorn, her supportive husband enabled her to create a refuge for women facing similar issues, defying their husbands’ wishes.

Facing backlash for allegedly “poisoning their women,” Kefa and her husband relocated to Migori’s Oruba Centre. Here, her work expanded, aiding hundreds and continuing her advocacy against deep-rooted gender biases.

Since 2019, Jane Auma, lawyer and CEO of Amua Mama Initiative, has transformed the lives of 65 women in Migori, especially at Oruba Centre. Initially believing only uneducated women suffered abuse due to lack of choice, Jane’s perspective changed after her own harrowing experience. When she tried to leave their toxic relationship, her then-husband conspired to have acid poured on her face. She spent two years in the hospital and faced a justice system that failed to prosecute her case. “The justice system has failed women,” Jane states. “If cases were handled without corruption, we could eliminate repeat offences and reduce assaults.”

According to UNICEF, one in three women globally will face physical or sexual violence in their lifetime—gender-based violence spikes during crises, driven by lack of education and poverty. Many women endure in silence, often blamed for their plight. Gender norms assign women tasks like fetching water, cleaning, cooking, and nurturing, exposing them to violence due to the uneven distribution of resources like water, sanitation, and hygiene (WASH). The 2014 journal article Violence, gender and WASH highlights the rising reports of WASH-related violence, yet documentation remains insufficient globally.

“There is no effective policy on water and sanitation,” Jane stresses. “Policymakers must listen to communities, and larger organisations need to collaborate with local initiatives to pass relevant bills.” She also highlights the lack of funding for initiatives like Amua Mama, noting that WASH budgets do not reach the community level and that most funded organisations fail to address women’s and girls’ issues intimately.

These problems are compounded for women living with a disability. Mary Atieno, a 43-year-old woman who acquired a disability while young, faces daily challenges with the sanitation facilities in her community. The toilets are difficult to access and in a dire state, shared by everyone in the slum. Mary explains, “As a woman with a disability, I use a portable iron seat for the toilet, which is in a dire state.” Her vulnerability is heightened at night when she must be extra cautious to avoid predators. “Anything can happen to me in my vulnerable state,” she adds, wishing for cleaner and safer sanitation.

Mary Atieno is soft-spoken, kind, and always smiling despite her struggles. Her inspiring demeanour and unwavering positivity captivate those around her. After escaping an emotionally abusive relationship, Mary found solace and support through the Amua Mama Initiative. With their training, she now sews from her home in Oruba while raising her 16-year-old son.

Women like Mary, Jane, Kefa and Ruth demonstrate vulnerability, compassion, love, care, and a nurturing spirit, qualities that empower them as they raise the next generation. In stark contrast, many men feel compelled to exert power, authority, and violence. What if men embraced women’s nurturing qualities? Could this be the key to reducing violence against women?

Gender-based violence must be stopped. The women of the Amua Mama initiative inspire each other, support one another, and undergo a rebirth with each new chapter of their lives. They cultivate positivity and hope for a kinder world. Their next goal is to extend their counselling to boys in schools and men in the community, fostering empathy and enabling better care for their mothers, sisters, children, and wives. “I think it all narrows down to how we raise our boys,” says Phoebe Kefa. For example, “Mary has raised such a wonderful son—caring, compassionate, and so loving. Not only does he respect his mother, but everyone he interacts with.”

This article is part of The Niles Issue #19, The Feminine & The Nile, produced by Media in Cooperation and Transition (MiCT) with financial support from the Stockholm International Water Institute (SIWI). It is part of the initiative The Niles: Strengthening Media Capacities and Networks in the Nile Basin, supported by the Deutsche Gesellschaft für Internationale Zusammenarbeit (GIZ) and commissioned by the German Federal Foreign Office (AA). The views expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of SIWI, GIZ, the German Federal Foreign Office, or MiCT.